A Tried Girl's Harangue (Part 2)

Day II
So beauty tried to be friends with him but before long, she found that it couldn't work. Things just could not work between them. He wants to be with her when he's hardly left the other. Closeness of opposite sexes in "just friendship" is a doorway to disaster of different types. Not only is she disappointed, she's raving mad! How dare he ask more of her! Her eyes are open and now she realises that she was headed for heartbreak unknowingly. Oh well, y'all tried to warn her, right? Sad as she is, she's reluctant to walk away entirely.

**********************************************
A letter to him: So I friend-zoned you

I want a god and you’re not him so I friend-zoned you. The pedestal that lived in my heart with your person in it stays on, though my perspective has changed and is much different now than it was when it was first installed.
Then I admired you, revered you. As one who was an icon and it was a privilege to be with and be associated to. Of course I laid things on a little bit thickly, but that was because I was dwarfed by your awesomeness or awed by your height on the standard ladder.
Later I adored you. As the friend who was worthy enough of my time and attention. Crazy as hell yeah, but, I felt secure with him. 'I'm safe', I thought, even though I knew better, "I'll stay" I said.
Revere turned to respect.
I wanted nothing but his friendship. I was scared to hope but I did it anyway. I knew the worst that could happen, or so I thought.
Still later on, the trend turned to deeper ties. And then I ran. But how could I prove that I was right. I hadn't forgotten the past and the one I was dealing with. So I stayed, and prayed, and hoped. Choosing to ignore the voice in my heart. "You gotta trust somebody", I said, "allow yourself to live a little". And I lived, enjoying every bit of the moments. Until...
I still feel deep respect. And something else.
The pain in my heart is great. The love in my heart is great. But even though I intend not to, I guess I'm just a sore loser. I wanna eat my cake and have it. It really is all about me. And so I put you where it's convenient for me. To reach you when I want. To touch you yet hold back. I can do such things. Especially since I don't know what it is to...
Yeah. What's acceptable is wreaking havoc and who the hell talked about 'normal'? *sigh*
You know, one has to let go of what he can't keep in order to get what he can't lose. Now I see the wisdom in those words. Just when I decided to be selfish, I remembered. I'm having a rethink.
Let's just go back to the beginning. For the sake of safety and sanity. We can pretend that all that has happened is water under the bridge. It seems fair enough to both parties to me since we'd both hurt and maybe regret but we've gotta take the chance. Accept my apologies, dear friend. I really am so sorry. It's not fair that you had to go through this stuff but its not entirely my fault either. Its the burden I've had to bear. Pardon me my friend, for God's sake. Life has thrown us both curve balls. 

Maybe we can start again and get it right this time. Maybe we can do things differently. Maybe, maybe, maybe. All's a hope hinged on uncertainty. Because I wanted almost something rather than nothing, I friendzoned you. And it's hurting. Both you and I. 

[What do you think is wrong with her? Is she being ambivalent or she has no clue herself? Think about her rant, what do you glean from it? Drop your comments and thoughts here and share with your friends.] 

Thanks for reading 

#GirlRant (c) 'durotimi 

*picture gotten from Pinterest