This is reality

Is this an illness? I see some signs; these symptoms are unacceptable. In a world where "normal" reigns, this anomaly cannot take place. But it is true to me, it is real! And though I try to hide this thing, reject, renounce, rebuke - it is just not leaving me! I'm trying to make things work, live right and keep my members in line, I really am. I'm working hard so all must be just. And it should be, but why?
This wanting, pining, cravings, these desires are unnatural. That's why they can't be. What will the world think of me?! I struggle to rise above the tide of discord in my members. I refuse to be that thing! And even though I'd be lying by pretending to be perfect, I'd rather be this than that! 
Who will I tell? I've prayed but, God has not removed it from me. I expect that he'll break in and save me from this curse, wave his hand and make it disappear, just take it away but he's not showing up!
Who can I talk to? Who will help me?
I can't talk to anyone about it. I can already see the condemnation in their eyes. I anticipate their shocked reactions and I know the words they'll say. I imagine the accusations that will be levelled against me. What's worse, no one can be trusted. Very soon the world will know what I've been hiding. No! I won't talk. I need to protect myself. I will never make this known to anyone.
But I don't want to be this, thing. I can't be un-normal, improper or whatever society can term it. I've tried to put it behind me but the siege is growing, the pressure is mounting; rising high. Those desires creep into my mind and invade my thoughts and before long, I'm moved to act before I remember in a jolt that I'm not supposed to be doing it. The realisation and shock keep me still and held back. But what will happen when they are no longer enough?
Oh what dismay! How will I be cured? Is there hope for me? Should I try to exorcise these demons or should I embrace them and let it all in, damning the consequence? I already feel guilty, should I just give up resistance? This is reality.

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The above lamentation is true to many people in the world today. You know them; some of them are fighting battles too great for their souls to bear alone and many are losing. Before you ostracise someone, before you abuse or judge or condemn, pause, and ask if you might be one of them. Chances are, your story is painted with some not-so-pretty pictures.

Written by 'durotimi
Thanks for reading.