Dedicated to Nettifat
He loves me or so he claims and that seems to be true.
I love him, I'm sure of that, he is too. Or why does he keep coming back?
I am his woman but he is not mine. I am the other woman.
The one he keeps in secret and runs to at every chance. I live my world around his and when he comes, it's like Christmas. He is married to a woman who bore him children. He has everything he needs and all seems fine with him but not all that glitters is gold, he really is not whole. The rich cry behind their gated fences and pretty walls.
I am his woman not by chance but by choice. Even though things happened in an unplanned manner - we made this choice. To be together, to have each other and he delights in me as much as I am crazy for him. And though I may never completely have him, I want him all the same. Don't interrupt my bliss, I'd rather this than the other real.
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What shall we do about the ones for whom marriage is not sufficient? Should divorce be encouraged in such cases? If a man's wants are insatiable is that inclusive of marriage?These are questions I ponder as I think about the issue of a man who keeps another woman in his life at the same time staying married to his wife. Isn't this scenario relatable to the analogy of a child who wants to eat his cake yet have it in his hand to consume tomorrow? And his woman, is she wrong to love him even though she knows it may not be beneficial, to her and a woman like her who wants to protect herself?
If the wife is divorced because of the other woman, that would cause a disaster; an unforgivable experience. If the other woman is abandoned, that would be a great grievance, to her and the one she loves. His heart belongs to the other woman, his responsibility lies in the nest he has created. Things are bound to be complicated. Whose fault is the fiasco at hand and who should pay for it?
There are "correct" answers for such a situation but matters of the heart are seldom politically correct. Could this mean that grey areas exist as a direct result of our emotions and not necessarily deliberate or willful negligence to follow the rules? If in your eyes and my eyes, all men are truly created equal with each individual amounting to much more than a number in the world, the dicey-ness of the situation will hit home with you. Ah, who knows, your sister or mother or aunt or friend or daughter or niece or a person closely related to you might be in such a situation at a point in time. What would you advise then?
A man is in a fix who could think but did not think far enough.
#SalientMatters
11/10/2016
(c) 'durotimi.
Nice one Durotimi! Really impressed by your line of thought.
ReplyDeleteWell a lot goes into the delicacy of marriage. But some often omit the all-important recipe item called commitment. Deadly commitment. There's no reward for starters. Only continuers and finishers eventually become clinchers. That is why it is good to count the cost before embarking on the journey.
Integrity comes from the word integer; being single; same; whole; undivided; upright; undistracted; staying true to one. Faithfulness. Determination. T.D. Jakes says the reason for divorce is that most spouses don't join to stay!
Join to stay. Forsaking all others. In sickness and in health. For better and for worse. (What we hear these days is 'for better for best'; little wonder when the going gets tough, the untough cannot get going!).
Marriage is a covenant. If you break a covenant you lose something - ultimately your life, even though in a figure.
Join - to stay!