Heart pouring

Flour sugar butter flavour
Eggs fruit milk baking powder
Is this a batter or a dough?
Somehow bitter somehow sweet
Cake or pudding, pastry, pie
You my dear are twice as fine.
A while ago you were, so precious,
Babe in arms and swaddling clothes.
Now I see a confident beaut
Ripe with age, taking her own.
For one day each year I, reminisce on
How you've bloomed and each time I
Am thank full as I offer prayers.
May you remain full of fragrance,
Your days being splendid and your nights tasty
May the spark never leave your life and
Like a well prepared dish, may you be sated.
Happy birthday my sweetheart,
Ain't no one sparkle like you.

Dedicated to Adeyemo Peace Adedoyin on her birthday today and her wonderful friend Adebimpe Owojaiye.
#friendsforever #sisterly #sweatpeas

Parenting

In some parts of the world, not very far from you, maybe closer than you think, there are couples who are being negligent about the upbringing of their children. So they feed and clothe their ward(s), send them to school, buy them toys but do they talk to them, talk with them or bother/care about their individuality? These parents, are they not passive about their parenting? Oh, back up a moment please. Forgive me.
Possibly he goes to work, foots the bills, pays everybody whatever he has to give them and locks up. When he’s home the TV or newspaper is his companion. He barks orders to remind us of his crown; the crown he wears as a result of his position, all his orders are standing orders – don’t you dare forget that! His son is watching. And please do not get in his way or he’ll be angered. He has no respect or regard for her (his wife) or her feelings. His children are watching. She has a job, not well paying but flexible enough for her to be a mother. She’s in charge of cooking and cleaning and keeping the children in line, including transporting them everywhere, taking responsibility for their lives and education, being up to date in order to keep up with them, meeting their friends and everything a child needs a mother for and be a wife at the same time. Day in day out without rest or vacation. Last to sleep and first to wake. He’s not there to train his children, she’s too busy or overwhelmed with duties to see to their character thoroughly so the kids learn as they go. In such a case, who is supposed to educate the children on things not taught in school; talk to them about sex and their sexuality, go exercising with them, motivate them, cheer them, discuss career with them and take care of all other things that are just as necessary? Yes they function okay (just OK) as primary caregivers but is that all there is to parenting?
There’s a long list of people far and wide who have failed at being good parents. They are successful in other affairs but not in the business of parenting. Some are great teachers of other people’s children, wonderful designers and creators of all sorts, savvy business people, dexterous technicians, to-be-reckoned-with career people or members of clergy. These ones are good people, don’t get me wrong, they try – at least they put themselves into something. Most times they are capable of scaling the test of basic care giving, providing the bare necessities. Others are alcoholics, womanizers (or man-izers depending on who it is), party addicts, substance abusers, rapists, terrorists, paedophiles, abusive, chain smokers, lazy bones, tin gods and derelict people, unafraid to tout the factors of their dilapidated lives. Whether good or bad, these are members of the clique of poor parenting. Don’t blame them for their failures, it’s never their faults. Most of them do not realize what they have done or not done or rather what they are doing, right or wrong. Broken men and women, praiseworthy on some counts and struggling with life themselves on others yet daring to bring another whole life into a less than sane world for whatever reason they do it without considering...
The journey; from pregnancy to delivery to childhood to preteen to adulthood and all the steps in between, all major steps in life for as many as are concerned. Can one person handle it? Can a full time parent (mum) successfully handle any number of children without a partner’s support and turn out perfect children? Is there an ideal situation for child rearing? Do dads really think they have nothing else to contribute to their families except monetary support and the occasional ‘help’ they render? Is there a way to make balanced children? Why do parents spend increasingly diminishing amounts of time with their children? Who else is supposed to play a role in child upbringing? Which of the parents is supposed to instil discipline in a child? Many questions have I, many questions need to be asked and answered. Perhaps your #Conversations will yield answers.
#TheParentingIssue will be continued.

#SalientMatters
22/11/2016
(c) ‘durotimi

Profanity

Ever met a decent or distinguished looking person who uttered words that made you do a double take? Perhaps the string of expletives they dropped or the manner in which the words hit like eggs smashed against a wall. Did you think that person or certain people are above using swear words? I suppose so, but isn't it surprising; even church people use profanity. The ones that are considered to be morally upright, possessing a cultured tongue, well mannered, tolerant and understanding; sometimes they are pushed beyond their limits (or not) and then they burst forth words that are considered censored. For some others though, cussing in as near to them as fish is to water, with all or most of their discussions tainted with intensifiers that are most times unnecessary. Indeed swearing is considered normal in such circles that to abstain from such is to be tagged with un-cool titles.
The issue of profanity and its use is a result of the ingestion of unsavory material. Out of the heart the mouth speaks (Matthew 15:18). Either by association (friends and peers) or by trend (movies and music). What we have inside will always, definitely find a way out of us. It might take time, but eventually. As much as we ingest things that are pure, good, noble and all, if there’s so much as a little dirt in us, it will show. And that’s what happens. All content is a function of our environment and what reigns in each person be it poisonous or healthy.
In spite of the bowdlerization in the things we see and hear, the encouragement of profanity is on the increase. It is not out of place for people to act indecorously now that the world is leaning towards the blurred lines of reality that we have as a result of dumbing down our moral intelligence. But then, what is it about profanity that makes it so appealing that it is almost inexpugnable? Swear words are taboo especially for certain age ranges but it still is alluring for use especially to them. Perhaps because some classes of people are "allowed" to use it as a result of their age and status, it is increasingly difficult to deter others from doing just that. Forbidden things usually arouse rebellion but more so profanity. At the least expected moments it pops out and initially we are surprised but we find reason to explain it away. Isn't that reflective of what we expose ourselves to and the state of our morality? No doubt we're humans but could we make efforts to clean up our hearts and the language?

#UnChurched
17/11/2016
(c) 'durotimi.

Hair girl

I know a girl who recently got a haircut; a crew cut. She previously had long strands; ink black, beautiful and complimenting her dark skin. Hers had been a mane to envy but she chopped it off for no apparent reason. Shaving almost all the back of her head and the sides, the middle anterior part of the hair was trimmed giving it a jagged edge with the longest strands in front and shorter ones going backward in the middle of her head. It was a bold step that made a statement – a loud statement in the conservative community we reside in. I’m interested not just because I knew her when she had a full mane and believe me when I say there wasn’t any prettier one that I ever saw; to chop it off just like that (for fun maybe) seems outrageous to me - and this isn’t some teenager struggling with her identity, but also because it is an action that has generated many responses as is common with controversial matters.
You see, in this part of town, church folk stay out of controversy, avoiding and frowning at those who try to discuss such matters. Most people live their lives quietly, doing their best to adhere to the norms of society and ostracising those who can’t. It is difficult to discern who defined the terms of “normalcy” in this place but everyone seems to understand the dictates of “normal” and therefore everything that is considered ‘not-normal’ is a sin worthy of punishment which could come in numerous forms. For example, those who hit their children in public are seen as monsters but no one talks about the obvious beatings that go on behind closed doors which leave some of those children grounded so that the evidences of the parent’s unbridled anger or drunkenness will not be seen. It is normal to whip a child behind closed doors no matter the reason or outcome. Another example is the issue of alcohol; church people consider themselves too decent to ‘use the bottle’ and they frown at all forms or means of consuming it. Their children are forbidden to attend gatherings where strong drink may be served. In fact, the organisers of any parties their children might attend must be morally upstanding before they can be endorsed. I can see the customary look given in which the guilty one is observed with upturned noses of the pious. Some of these people and their wards take a sip every now and then yet maintain that alcohol is the devil’s drink. Still they stand at the corners of accusation, throwing murderous glances and frowning in righteousness, waiting for the sinner to repent and when such is not forthcoming, they shoot angry missiles with their words of condemnation and impending damnation in anticipation of the tears of the guilty. It is considered a taboo for their piety to be ignored; anyone found guilty of such rebellion is quickly committed to the hands of the devil to do with as he likes and heaven forbid that common folk relate with such a one, they all will be doomed for punishment with the offender.
Back to the matter of the hair girl as she has become because all other parts of her ceased to exist the moment her hair became a defining factor. Such a cut was deemed unacceptable along with the Mohawk a few years ago when it started trending. All sons were warned against mortgaging their future with the devil’s haircut as it was termed, never mind that some of these boys’ role models were sporting similar cuts. Quite a number of things are attributed to the devil, don’t you think? The boys were charged not to fraternize with the devil’s sons so that they would not be influenced negatively. How incredulous does that sound! Some of the older children who have “escaped” from the clutches of small-town-life have become notorious in the eyes of the community because they’ve embraced the trends of the times (which is unbecoming BTW). As a result, youngsters aspire to grow up and leave town, never to come back. Yet, there are a few children who are being modelled to be just as narcissistic and chauvinistic, including self-righteous just as the elders are. I have an inkling that these would-be leaders are going to beat the elders at their game. Ah, I’ve deviated, again. Pardon me. So, hair-girl is being frowned upon by the elders and the young ones alike. In fact, just yesterday, she was called out by one of the youth executives who started to interrogate her about her hairstyle, asking what benefit was it. The older ones hadn’t been as direct but need I add that they looked on with approval as hair-girl was being harassed. Unfortunately, things took on an unexpected turn as hair-girl started to argue in her own defence and two young people took sides with her. One of them was a girl who though has not been caught “in sin” always receives disapproving glances from women because of her size. She’s large in all the right places making her the object of male ogling. The other was a guy who schooled abroad but so far has been conforming to the rules that I’m not sure he knows he’s following. Anyway, things ended in a bit of a mix. That’s a first for Haven community church; the condemned usually do not speak.
    I saw her again this morning rocking the hair and I thought, “Go girl!” Though I ain’t pitching sides, someone oughta give these people a run for their money - that’s entertainment. But that’s beside the point; the main issue here is that no one is talking to people about things like truth, motive and all the other virtues that can make them strong in faith, rather the talks are about maintaining proper behaviour, something that can never truly be enforced. Young people are seeking for answers and attention in all manner of ways.

#SalientMatters
08/11/2016
(c) ‘durotimi

Advocate

“For there is one God and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus” – Saint Paul to Timothy
When Christ died at Calvary, the veil in the temple that separated the most holy place from the rest of the sanctuary was torn in two from top to bottom not by human hands but by the unseen hands of God. This signified the end of the reign of the old covenant in the law. No longer will the law be the standard for reaching God. Meaning there is no need to offer sacrifices as previously demanded because the Mediator has done it all. Through His (Jesus) covenant we enter into a fulfilling relationship with God without third party permission or authorised interference from anyone. It is just us; the I and the Almighty. We approach the Most High confidently and in faith through Jesus Christ and commune with Him whenever we want, period!
Funny how that very obvious fact as shown in Scripture seems to be unknown or to have been forgotten by many who stitch back that curtain in their hearts, setting a barrier between themselves and God whether out of fear, laziness or ignorance and outright misinformation in some cases. Like the ancient ones who wandered the wilderness, they cry, “Lord, don’t talk to me, send me Your Moses!” Creating a pedestal for a “man of God” in their hearts and lives, they appoint a human to mediate between them and God and they wait on such a one rather than God. Saddling him (or her) with their spiritual responsibilities, not a thing happens in their lives that he is unaware of because he is God’s servant to them and must be kept abreast of matters arising. So they can’t or won’t travel or embark on any new endeavour until they’ve told the Pastor and they share all of their struggles with him. When they sin or fall into error, he has to pray for them and tell them that it’s okay before they feel truly forgiven. And if he decides that God is unhappy, God remains a blue God to these ones, so they cower in fear, rejecting the evidence of God’s persona as recorded in the Bible. Jesus is out of reach to them and God is the Old Testament Sovereign who is angry, vengeful and sometimes bloodthirsty. “Let the Pastor relate with God using Jesus, we will relate with the Pastor,” they say. The words of Pastor are the words of God and that’s gospel truth. Occasionally do these ones remember the cross of Jesus and they are not even fully aware of its significance. At such rare times that they do remember, the blood of Jesus is the only useful thing to them.

There is no need for any other advocate or mediator between God and man and there is no need for a representative of Christ to His Church. People have to take this truth and understand it not just swallow it whole. God has no need for administrative assistants to relate with each of us. Stop hanging up a useless curtain. Come on in. 

#UnChurched
03/11/2016

(c) ‘durotimi

November!

November 1, 2016 

If we count the months as weeks and the weeks as days, 60 days remain in this leap year. 

If we count the days as hours and the hours as minutes from now, 60×24×60 minutes more or less, will remain. A large number that has not been spent yet but we're seldom conscious of that. 

60 seconds for every minute 

60 minutes for every hour 

60 days for this one year to end and pass away like all the rest. 

Does that scare you? Does it excite you? Does it surprise you? The coming days will be full of good things yet. It depends on you. 

01/11/2016 

'durotimi